Power Outage Resolved

A power outage that left many Burnt Oak residents in the dark Tuesday morning was caused by a local coven of witches.

According to City Light officials the witches were trying to cast a spell when one of their wands backed up causing a severe amount of energy into the ground, which blew out a near by transformer.

A spokesperson for the coven told us via email, “I myself have all the other, And the very ports they blow, All the quarters that they know I' the shipman's card. I will drain him dry as hay.”